Shaking Hands with an Alcoholic

Photo by  Bhavyesh Acharya  on  Unsplash Things I've Done While Drunk 1. A home yoga class with a large bottle of gin next to me. 2. Arrived to a breakfast meeting with a VIP an hour early so that I could juice up and settle down before sitting with her. I made sure to tote a bottle of tincture into the meeting and note that it helped me with menstrual cramps. This was merely a cover in case she noticed any alcohol on my breath. 3. Danced in a way that left people telling the story for years. 4*. Vomitted voluminously in my own bed then continued to sleep in it because I was passed out. 5.  Had a fit of anger and pounded on my computer until it was mostly nonfunctional. 6*. Forgotten to drink anything but alcohol for so long that I required intraveneous fluids. 7*. Neglected to eat for so long that I was left with nutritional deficiencies that caused physical impairments like numbness and tingling, trouble with muscle coordination, diminished eyesight. 8*. Rode my bike. This is how

  Photo by  Roman Mager  on  Unsplash Since I have an actual recorded quit date for my latest round of sobriety, I decided to download a sobriety tracking app. With no work on my end, it can tell me how many days I've been sober. The app even gives me virtual chips for each month without alcohol. Additionally, my sobriety app follows how much money I've saved and units of alcohol I've not consumed while sober. This last calculation delivered a surprise to me. I already knew that I was consuming insane amounts of hard alcohol. I was drunk 24/7, quite literally. Check this out. Today I'm 2 months and 5 days sober, according to my app. Calculating at the rate I was drinking, I would have consumed 1558 units in that time. Divide that by the 14 units we're advised to not exceed in a week, and you get 111 weeks. Divide 111 weeks by 52 weeks in a year, and you'll see that the alcohol consumption I've saved in two months is equal to what is recommended I not exceed