Things I've Done While Drunk
Photo by Bhavyesh Acharya on Unsplash Things I've Done While Drunk 1. A home yoga class with a large bottle of gin next to me. 2. Arrived to a breakfast meeting with a VIP an hour early so that I could juice up and settle down before sitting with her. I made sure to tote a bottle of tincture into the meeting and note that it helped me with menstrual cramps. This was merely a cover in case she noticed any alcohol on my breath. 3. Danced in a way that left people telling the story for years. 4*. Vomitted voluminously in my own bed then continued to sleep in it because I was passed out. 5. Had a fit of anger and pounded on my computer until it was mostly nonfunctional. 6*. Forgotten to drink anything but alcohol for so long that I required intraveneous fluids. 7*. Neglected to eat for so long that I was left with nutritional deficiencies that caused physical impairments like numbness and tingling, trouble with muscle coordination, diminished eyesight. 8*. Rode my bike. This is how